Gratitude

Gratitude. It's a big word these days among the spiritual circles, at least since 2006, courtesy of Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" DVD and book.

And it is an important subject that hits a few sore spots for me.

When I started learning about the Law of Attraction and so on via "The Secret" DVD and book (which is a simpler, more general-audience-friendly philosophical way of talking about magick, when you get right down to it), they really hit the whole concept of gratitude really hard because of how positive feelings of gratitude usually are supposed to be. And being grateful for what you already have brings more abundance to you because of the positive vibes it generates.

Okay, I get that. Not a problem.

But the concept of the gratitude journal really stuck in my philosophical craw.

I really have had to work at doing something like this because of past experiences with the words "grateful" and "gratitude."

It took a near-four hour session with my text editor in talking to my Higher Goddess-Self to hammer out what made me so hypersensitive about gratitude and how it gets expressed.

Okay, I have feelings of Love-Gratitude-and-Namaste towards Jon Anderson because of how his music has helped me through so much family drama and inner turmoil. (If you don't know who he is, Google him! He's AMAZING!)

But those are the kinds of unspeakable feelings that bubble up from the depths of my very being, my very cells.

I also have experienced many feelings of that same level of gratitude to the many creators of Japanese anime for writing in so many encouraging, "go-get-'em" concepts into their stories. You would not believe how those anime series have helped me face what I need to face within myself. Hey, Spirit works in whatever ways are necessary to get someone to wake the heck up. At least that has been my experience--and I am grateful for that, indeed. But again, that's a feeling that often leaves me utterly speechless, and it makes me really want to be a better person: more loving, more courageous, confident, etc.

The problems I have had in the past with the words "gratitude" and "grateful" were related to shaming tactics, or at least a shaming tone of voice, from someone who was making the assumption that I, or someone else, was not "properly grateful" for something. I do not appreciate that kind of guilt tripping and I refuse to buy into that way of being.

And usually, that kind of guilt tripping was often from, sadly enough, women old enough to be my grandmother, if not my actual grandmother herself. And anyone who is a generation or two after that who has learned to talk in a shaming manner with respect to gratitude has simply not understood that you cannot force people to feel gratitude just because you think they should feel it.


I also admit that I have had reticent feelings about the mere notion of a gratitude journal not just because of the shaming bit, but because it kind of reminds me of my days in youth lock-ins where the religious talk got all hot-n-heavy about prayer journals, everyone had Bible covers, and info was being passed around about going to this or that youth retreat. All that made me uncomfortable because my dad was never one to push that kind of stuff that one tends to associate with the super-evangelical, super-sentimental, praise-band, "take Jesus as savior" vibe that often sets progressive spiritual people's teeth on edge.

I think I expressed my feelings better when I was just typing like crazy nearly 12 hours ago, so I am going to copy and paste the biggest feelings I was trying to express from the text file I created--and yes, I am going to include what my Higher Goddess-Self was saying, because Her comments and observations flowing with my human feelings will lend context to the entire post:

HS: "A gratitude journal will help you also get clear about other experiences you want to attract. I know you have had fits and starts with it. Mostly because your ego keeps telling you it's silly--that it smacks too much of conservative Christianity, ironically. That whole "count your blessings" thing."

ME: Well, not so much "conservative" Christianity as overly sentimental and maudlin. Yeah, conservative vibes tended to come with it. But my main issue is that whole vibe of going into older folks' homes and seeing those plastic canvas or linen calendar jobs with that treacly "precious moments" vibe oozing from every fiber. It was often enough to give me psychic diabetes, if you get my drift. If I am going to have a gratitude journal, can I pick a word that doesn't carry that guilting vibe of "be grateful?"

HS: "Yes, that shaming vibe does nobody any good, does it? It only serves to make them feel even more UN-grateful. How about 'appreciation?'"

ME: Not quite so bad, even though my grandmother had that whole "hope you appreciate this" thing going on. That also was not helpful. For me, the feeling goes deeper than just a surface gratitude. It's gotta be from down deep, in the "lake of the heart" as Philip Carr-Gomm* calls it.

HS: "Well, didn't you call your feelings for Jon an all-in-one "Love-Gratitude-Namaste" sensation that you couldn't expand on because it was this overwhelming feeling that could only be expressed in lyrics or something? Is that the kind of gratitude you are thinking of?"

ME: Yeah, kinda like that. A gratitude from deep within that nobody told me I had to have because of social or religious niceties. It blossomed on its own, like a big golden rose or lotus or something like that. More like a rose. A red rose with gold and silver streaks and edges, shimmering gold and silver and just too darn beautiful to speak of in words. I feel it all over, but especially in my solar plexus and heart chakras. I have come to the conclusion that gratitude from that deep a rooted place is TRUE gratitude, and not the surface claptrap espoused by people who really don't walk their talk that much.

In addition, I was doing a self-reading with Doreen Virtue's "Healing With the Angels" app on my phone, and the last card to come up had the word "Gratitude" in its more detailed meaning/description. The sentence that had this word in it really made me pause and ask myself how I felt about it. It kinda triggered those old feelings, so...I continued the conversation with my Higher Self:

ME: "Gratitude." Of all words! :-D "Now is the time to fill your heart with a warm feeling of gratitude." I am not sure how I feel about this sentence. I kinda prefer to let the gratitude fill up on its own, or else it will feel forced. To let the blossom of gratitude unfold, open up on its own just by virtue of knowing that the angels helped me. That unspeakable feeling that has its roots in the lake of the heart. Oh, my! Now that would be a marvelous image to paint! An open heart with a lake in it, with a flowering plant with its roots in the water. Even better...the heart is sitting in a great big golden chalice.

HS: "Wouldn't that make a splendid image for a gratitude journal?"


Then came the total gem that sparked the inspiration for this blog post, that sums up, in crazy-poetic fashion, precisely how I feel about this WHOLE thing:

ME: "Let not gratitude be the false, superficial treacle that tops the dried out gruel of the puritanical fervor of recent ancestors. Let gratitude instead be the rich, sensuous, Spirit-filled rose that blooms on its own in the lake of the heart, by virtue of knowing your deepest prayers and wishes have been answered by Spirit."

I swear on all that is holy I was not attempting to be "poetically quotable." It just came out that way.

So there it is, my friends: my feelings on this whole gratitude and being grateful thing. I will eventually get a journal started for this purpose because I do want to test out the connection between gratitude and the Law of Attraction.

Oh, and there's another reason I will likely do the gratitude journal thing: I have another notion in mind concerning this concept and I want to put it to the test also, and I will report on that notion and the whole shebang at some future point. I might even make a blog series around the concept of gratitude, gratitude journaling and its connection to the Law of Attraction.

Blessings,
Kat ^.^

P.S. *Philip Carr-Gomm is probably one of the most well-known Druids writing and speaking on Druidic stuff, especially concerning our planet, obviously enough. ;-) The DruidCraft Tarot he created with his wife Stephanie is just phenomenal as is the Druid Animal Oracle they created. :-) He is also the creator of the correspondence course from the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids.