I'm honestly too tired right now to write a fuller-length article, but I came home from work wanting to watch a documentary. There's a specific documentary series on Hulu that's captured my attention, and one of those documentary episodes I watched tonight. It was about who *really* wrote the New Testament. There were some things I knew, some things I didn't.
Pop interrupted my watching TV to talk to me about possibly coming to church to hear this one guy give a sermon on the book of Romans, chapter 8. This guy I sorta know well; he's the lawyer who, about ten or so years ago, helped my parents and me deal with this one collection agency who kept calling and harassing us for money when we just didn't have the money they wanted. By that reckoning, I am interested in hearing what he has to say, just because he IS a lawyer, and by virtue of that schooling, clearly has more than enough experience in logic and reason. So it's not like I'd be having to listen to someone like a certain conservative Christian from Canada who has oft-times ignored the rules of respectful epistemological debate and just rudely pressed for his own world view. I refuse to write said Canadian's name, simply because he is the conservative Christian version of Voldemort (downright evil and thinking he's always in the right), but those of you who have watched the recent debates between atheists and conservative Christians likely know to whom I am reluctantly referring.
No, the guy that's going to give a sermon tomorrow would be far more interesting to me, for the sake of pure intellectual exercise, than listening to the likes of He-Who-Should-Not-Debate-At-All. I just wish the sermon didn't have to be part of the worship service--simply because most Sunday services are in the morning--EARLY morning, AND because I feel if I went, I would be giving my dad mixed messages.
I have NO interest in going back to Christianity as it is practiced by most people. My experiences and what I know about myself cannot be stuffed back into the box of un-knowing, just because others might prefer I remain a dumb sheep who follows dogma blindly. What I know about myself cannot be revealed to most people in mainstream religion. As much as I honor Jesus as an Ascended Master, I don't necessarily view Jesus in the same light as other people. I feel more comfortable having conversations with the Divine either in a park, or here in my room, typing on my computer.
I don't know how to express my wider view and spiritual path to most religious types except to place it within the box of Unitarian Universalism, to make it more understandable by others who may not share my path, have the same kind of knowledge I do, etc.
Yet despite my strong distaste for the idea of "returning to church" (an idea that I have a feeling my dad still holds as a possibility that might manifest), that wider view calls me to re-examine the ideas that come from the Bible and think deeper on what some of that stuff applies to how I see the world, etc. I am, for all intents and purposes, a Druid. And a Druid is called to explore and learn from other faith paths, among other things. That sounds a lot like me, really. I am also something of a Buddhist, something of a Taoist, something of a Hindu, and to a greater degree, a New Age hippie type person. My path is very, very eclectic.
And you know something? I like being that way. No, I love being that way. I love having ideas and being curious. I love chewing on food-for-thought, sipping on the philosophical wines on offer, sloshing them around in the mouth of my psyche, detecting this or that set of nuances and then just sitting and contemplating all of it.
I am honestly more interested in sitting in my own inner temple while sitting by a stream, rather than perching my tail-feathers in a church pew. If I choose to be around people in a ritual-type setting, I'd rather be in a circle of fellow Druids and Wiccans honoring BOTH the Divine Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine.
Well, it looks like I wrote a somewhat long article anyhow. It seems once I get going, I get going...I must not have been TOO tired...or the words just needed to get out or else I was going to lay in bed for hours with this stuff swirling around my mind. In any case, it is not likely I will go hear this lawyer guy speak. As good as he is, his sermon is only going to be part and parcel of the whole church thing, and again, I really don't want to send my dad mixed messages or encourage whatever falsely conjured hope he has swirling around in his brain just because he and I have had some fairly constructive conversations about some things in recent months. Whatever epistemological and theological explorations I am undertaking, I am doing so because of the philosophical desire for thought-food and the desire for deeper spiritual understanding about myself, which can be acquired without regular church attendance, I feel.
Anyway...it's off to bed with me. Lots to do!!!!
Peace,
Kat ^.^
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
"Heaven Is For Real." My Thoughts On the Book & Movie.
It is said that each person takes away from a piece of artwork--be it a book, a film, a painting, whatever--whatever they put into it from their own personal experiences, their own gut reactions.
I know that I am no different. I have my thoughts, my opinions, be they informed or uninformed. I have my gut reactions, my experiences.
I also have my deep and abiding interest in NDE's, or Near-Death Experiences, which is what led me to stand in Wal-Mart some time ago and read "Heaven Is For Real" cover to cover, without buying the darn thing. Yes, that is how lost I get in the world of words.
Especially when it pertains to spirituality and every other person's experience of it. I was especially curious about Colton Burpo's experience, as related to his father, Todd, who authored the book. Maybe someday Colton himself will write about his experience first hand, in his words. In the meantime, there's the current book--and now a movie.
I just watched the movie, and my ultimate reaction to it is thus:
It never fails.
You're going along in your life and something happens to upend your whole existence. Either you are told something or you experience an event--or series of them--and what you thought you knew about life, about the afterlife, even, is changed. and invariably, the words and the experience both challenge what you've believed up to this current point in time. Even if you are already quite spiritual in your daily life, regardless of what form that spirituality takes.
Such is the power of an NDE. And such, therefore, is the power of the story of the experience to change the lives of the people who did not have the experience, but find their own notions of life challenged nevertheless.
So what opinion do I have of the movie itself as compared to the book?
Well, I really wished they would have found a way to portray more of Colton's visions. That was the meat of the book, in my view. But they juxtaposed his matter-of-fact words with the reactions of the people around him, including his own father and mother. And a child's matter-of-factness is often quite jarring for an adult. Especially an adult who has been taught to think and believe a certain way, or has had experiences that have caused them grief and have not found resolution. So seeing that dose of reality portrayed was refreshing. Because yes, it is more or less a feel-good movie, but it was not overly saccharine in the way many Christianity-oriented films tend to be.
I also felt anxious for the Burpos when the media circus comes knocking at their door, wanting interviews. On top of this, the couple are struggling, financially. All this really puts a strain on Sonja, Colton's mother, whose own faith is being challenged. And until Colton told her of the sister he never met because the baby died in utero, she was having trouble coming to terms with the notion that Colton was telling the truth instead of being inventive. I would also imagine that, as a pastor's wife, the struggle of her faith being challenged was not the easiest road to walk. It's not like pastor's wives can hide from everyone else and their oft-times ridiculous and unreasonable expectations. They're expected to be just as public as their partners. Of course, that's assuming the minister is a man.
And I'm digressing.
In the section of the movie where the church board is thinking about looking for another minister, my thought was this: Why not ask Colton to get up there and tell the congregation, in his words, what he experienced? I mean, whatever happened to "And a little child shall lead them?" Whatever happened to "Enter the kingdom of heaven as a little child?" Why is an adult's ideas considered more credible than a child's as far as getting up in church and saying stuff that's important to people's growth as human beings? Is it because when an adult says those important things, they're backed up by years of so-called education and a piece of paper that says "you have arrived here"?
Why do we adults end up feeling so mortified when a child corrects US on behavior that we have told them is wrong? It's because the kid has called us out on our own bullcrap. And we know it. I know because while I don't have kids, my own inner child reminds me of my own hypocrisies. I hear my eight-year-old self loud and clear. I think maybe I should enlist her help more often. Because while my adult self has learned to rationalize stuff away and wave her hand at stuff she wants to ignore, my eight-year-old Inner Little Kat, like the Maiden of Wands she is--purely intuitive, honest and forthright--gives me her best "Don't-give-me-that-crap" look.
As adults, we often lose our way. We think Heaven or whatever word you want to give to the realms beyond this one is "up there somewhere." It is, and it isn't. It's within us. It's within our Inner Child, or the eyes of the child you're looking at right now. The sleeping infant, the toddler with her thumb in her mouth, the precocious budding scientist exploring an anthill or looking through a telescope to discover the delights of the moon's craters.
This wasn't exactly a review, was it? But I figure this post was going to take the form it was going to take and nothing else. I spent some time trying to shape it into a classic review form, and like a child, it did not want to bend to my ego-desires. It wanted to take the form of a more honest, flowing discussion, which comes more naturally to me than trying to force words into an agreed-upon way of writing or speaking. Even my inner Little Kat says, "Oh, come on Big Kat, quit TRYING to say something and just say something."
And speaking from the heart, speaking honestly--which means engaging my inner Little Kat often--is a weight off my soul, to tell you the truth. No pretenses, no masks, just me being me digging in the dirt of my soul and finding all kinds of good stuff to play with.
Until later, neighbors...
Peace,
Kat ^.^
I know that I am no different. I have my thoughts, my opinions, be they informed or uninformed. I have my gut reactions, my experiences.
I also have my deep and abiding interest in NDE's, or Near-Death Experiences, which is what led me to stand in Wal-Mart some time ago and read "Heaven Is For Real" cover to cover, without buying the darn thing. Yes, that is how lost I get in the world of words.
Especially when it pertains to spirituality and every other person's experience of it. I was especially curious about Colton Burpo's experience, as related to his father, Todd, who authored the book. Maybe someday Colton himself will write about his experience first hand, in his words. In the meantime, there's the current book--and now a movie.
I just watched the movie, and my ultimate reaction to it is thus:
It never fails.
You're going along in your life and something happens to upend your whole existence. Either you are told something or you experience an event--or series of them--and what you thought you knew about life, about the afterlife, even, is changed. and invariably, the words and the experience both challenge what you've believed up to this current point in time. Even if you are already quite spiritual in your daily life, regardless of what form that spirituality takes.
Such is the power of an NDE. And such, therefore, is the power of the story of the experience to change the lives of the people who did not have the experience, but find their own notions of life challenged nevertheless.
So what opinion do I have of the movie itself as compared to the book?
Well, I really wished they would have found a way to portray more of Colton's visions. That was the meat of the book, in my view. But they juxtaposed his matter-of-fact words with the reactions of the people around him, including his own father and mother. And a child's matter-of-factness is often quite jarring for an adult. Especially an adult who has been taught to think and believe a certain way, or has had experiences that have caused them grief and have not found resolution. So seeing that dose of reality portrayed was refreshing. Because yes, it is more or less a feel-good movie, but it was not overly saccharine in the way many Christianity-oriented films tend to be.
I also felt anxious for the Burpos when the media circus comes knocking at their door, wanting interviews. On top of this, the couple are struggling, financially. All this really puts a strain on Sonja, Colton's mother, whose own faith is being challenged. And until Colton told her of the sister he never met because the baby died in utero, she was having trouble coming to terms with the notion that Colton was telling the truth instead of being inventive. I would also imagine that, as a pastor's wife, the struggle of her faith being challenged was not the easiest road to walk. It's not like pastor's wives can hide from everyone else and their oft-times ridiculous and unreasonable expectations. They're expected to be just as public as their partners. Of course, that's assuming the minister is a man.
And I'm digressing.
In the section of the movie where the church board is thinking about looking for another minister, my thought was this: Why not ask Colton to get up there and tell the congregation, in his words, what he experienced? I mean, whatever happened to "And a little child shall lead them?" Whatever happened to "Enter the kingdom of heaven as a little child?" Why is an adult's ideas considered more credible than a child's as far as getting up in church and saying stuff that's important to people's growth as human beings? Is it because when an adult says those important things, they're backed up by years of so-called education and a piece of paper that says "you have arrived here"?
Why do we adults end up feeling so mortified when a child corrects US on behavior that we have told them is wrong? It's because the kid has called us out on our own bullcrap. And we know it. I know because while I don't have kids, my own inner child reminds me of my own hypocrisies. I hear my eight-year-old self loud and clear. I think maybe I should enlist her help more often. Because while my adult self has learned to rationalize stuff away and wave her hand at stuff she wants to ignore, my eight-year-old Inner Little Kat, like the Maiden of Wands she is--purely intuitive, honest and forthright--gives me her best "Don't-give-me-that-crap" look.
As adults, we often lose our way. We think Heaven or whatever word you want to give to the realms beyond this one is "up there somewhere." It is, and it isn't. It's within us. It's within our Inner Child, or the eyes of the child you're looking at right now. The sleeping infant, the toddler with her thumb in her mouth, the precocious budding scientist exploring an anthill or looking through a telescope to discover the delights of the moon's craters.
This wasn't exactly a review, was it? But I figure this post was going to take the form it was going to take and nothing else. I spent some time trying to shape it into a classic review form, and like a child, it did not want to bend to my ego-desires. It wanted to take the form of a more honest, flowing discussion, which comes more naturally to me than trying to force words into an agreed-upon way of writing or speaking. Even my inner Little Kat says, "Oh, come on Big Kat, quit TRYING to say something and just say something."
And speaking from the heart, speaking honestly--which means engaging my inner Little Kat often--is a weight off my soul, to tell you the truth. No pretenses, no masks, just me being me digging in the dirt of my soul and finding all kinds of good stuff to play with.
Until later, neighbors...
Peace,
Kat ^.^
Friday, July 11, 2014
eBay Store!
Just to let everyone know, I have now started an eBay store called "OwlLynxMagick."
I have been wanting to run a metaphysical shop for quite some time now, and it is easier to do it via eBay than try and get the funding for a brick-n-mortar place.
It looks pretty bare now, but that's because I've not had a chance to really work on sprucing it up and making it look awesome, not to mention populating it with the stuff I have to list--both the items I've already taken pics of as well as stuff I've yet to photograph. Oh, yeah, and there's my Amazon and Storenvy stores, plus my blogs!
All this and applying for a new day job! Whew!
But it's all good...and with Divine help I can get this entire creative calling off the ground!
Looks like I am going to be crazy-busy for the next few weeks for sure, just setting everything up...
I need to make schedules and such just to balance out my time and energy...which will be a topic just by itself later on...
Watch out, peeps, school's in session!
Blessings,
Kat ^.^
I have been wanting to run a metaphysical shop for quite some time now, and it is easier to do it via eBay than try and get the funding for a brick-n-mortar place.
It looks pretty bare now, but that's because I've not had a chance to really work on sprucing it up and making it look awesome, not to mention populating it with the stuff I have to list--both the items I've already taken pics of as well as stuff I've yet to photograph. Oh, yeah, and there's my Amazon and Storenvy stores, plus my blogs!
All this and applying for a new day job! Whew!
But it's all good...and with Divine help I can get this entire creative calling off the ground!
Looks like I am going to be crazy-busy for the next few weeks for sure, just setting everything up...
I need to make schedules and such just to balance out my time and energy...which will be a topic just by itself later on...
Watch out, peeps, school's in session!
Blessings,
Kat ^.^
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Gratitude
Gratitude. It's a big word these days among the spiritual circles, at least since 2006, courtesy of Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" DVD and book.
And it is an important subject that hits a few sore spots for me.
When I started learning about the Law of Attraction and so on via "The Secret" DVD and book (which is a simpler, more general-audience-friendly philosophical way of talking about magick, when you get right down to it), they really hit the whole concept of gratitude really hard because of how positive feelings of gratitude usually are supposed to be. And being grateful for what you already have brings more abundance to you because of the positive vibes it generates.
Okay, I get that. Not a problem.
But the concept of the gratitude journal really stuck in my philosophical craw.
I really have had to work at doing something like this because of past experiences with the words "grateful" and "gratitude."
It took a near-four hour session with my text editor in talking to my Higher Goddess-Self to hammer out what made me so hypersensitive about gratitude and how it gets expressed.
Okay, I have feelings of Love-Gratitude-and-Namaste towards Jon Anderson because of how his music has helped me through so much family drama and inner turmoil. (If you don't know who he is, Google him! He's AMAZING!)
But those are the kinds of unspeakable feelings that bubble up from the depths of my very being, my very cells.
I also have experienced many feelings of that same level of gratitude to the many creators of Japanese anime for writing in so many encouraging, "go-get-'em" concepts into their stories. You would not believe how those anime series have helped me face what I need to face within myself. Hey, Spirit works in whatever ways are necessary to get someone to wake the heck up. At least that has been my experience--and I am grateful for that, indeed. But again, that's a feeling that often leaves me utterly speechless, and it makes me really want to be a better person: more loving, more courageous, confident, etc.
The problems I have had in the past with the words "gratitude" and "grateful" were related to shaming tactics, or at least a shaming tone of voice, from someone who was making the assumption that I, or someone else, was not "properly grateful" for something. I do not appreciate that kind of guilt tripping and I refuse to buy into that way of being.
And usually, that kind of guilt tripping was often from, sadly enough, women old enough to be my grandmother, if not my actual grandmother herself. And anyone who is a generation or two after that who has learned to talk in a shaming manner with respect to gratitude has simply not understood that you cannot force people to feel gratitude just because you think they should feel it.
I also admit that I have had reticent feelings about the mere notion of a gratitude journal not just because of the shaming bit, but because it kind of reminds me of my days in youth lock-ins where the religious talk got all hot-n-heavy about prayer journals, everyone had Bible covers, and info was being passed around about going to this or that youth retreat. All that made me uncomfortable because my dad was never one to push that kind of stuff that one tends to associate with the super-evangelical, super-sentimental, praise-band, "take Jesus as savior" vibe that often sets progressive spiritual people's teeth on edge.
I think I expressed my feelings better when I was just typing like crazy nearly 12 hours ago, so I am going to copy and paste the biggest feelings I was trying to express from the text file I created--and yes, I am going to include what my Higher Goddess-Self was saying, because Her comments and observations flowing with my human feelings will lend context to the entire post:
HS: "A gratitude journal will help you also get clear about other experiences you want to attract. I know you have had fits and starts with it. Mostly because your ego keeps telling you it's silly--that it smacks too much of conservative Christianity, ironically. That whole "count your blessings" thing."
ME: Well, not so much "conservative" Christianity as overly sentimental and maudlin. Yeah, conservative vibes tended to come with it. But my main issue is that whole vibe of going into older folks' homes and seeing those plastic canvas or linen calendar jobs with that treacly "precious moments" vibe oozing from every fiber. It was often enough to give me psychic diabetes, if you get my drift. If I am going to have a gratitude journal, can I pick a word that doesn't carry that guilting vibe of "be grateful?"
HS: "Yes, that shaming vibe does nobody any good, does it? It only serves to make them feel even more UN-grateful. How about 'appreciation?'"
ME: Not quite so bad, even though my grandmother had that whole "hope you appreciate this" thing going on. That also was not helpful. For me, the feeling goes deeper than just a surface gratitude. It's gotta be from down deep, in the "lake of the heart" as Philip Carr-Gomm* calls it.
HS: "Well, didn't you call your feelings for Jon an all-in-one "Love-Gratitude-Namaste" sensation that you couldn't expand on because it was this overwhelming feeling that could only be expressed in lyrics or something? Is that the kind of gratitude you are thinking of?"
ME: Yeah, kinda like that. A gratitude from deep within that nobody told me I had to have because of social or religious niceties. It blossomed on its own, like a big golden rose or lotus or something like that. More like a rose. A red rose with gold and silver streaks and edges, shimmering gold and silver and just too darn beautiful to speak of in words. I feel it all over, but especially in my solar plexus and heart chakras. I have come to the conclusion that gratitude from that deep a rooted place is TRUE gratitude, and not the surface claptrap espoused by people who really don't walk their talk that much.
In addition, I was doing a self-reading with Doreen Virtue's "Healing With the Angels" app on my phone, and the last card to come up had the word "Gratitude" in its more detailed meaning/description. The sentence that had this word in it really made me pause and ask myself how I felt about it. It kinda triggered those old feelings, so...I continued the conversation with my Higher Self:
ME: "Gratitude." Of all words! :-D "Now is the time to fill your heart with a warm feeling of gratitude." I am not sure how I feel about this sentence. I kinda prefer to let the gratitude fill up on its own, or else it will feel forced. To let the blossom of gratitude unfold, open up on its own just by virtue of knowing that the angels helped me. That unspeakable feeling that has its roots in the lake of the heart. Oh, my! Now that would be a marvelous image to paint! An open heart with a lake in it, with a flowering plant with its roots in the water. Even better...the heart is sitting in a great big golden chalice.
HS: "Wouldn't that make a splendid image for a gratitude journal?"
Then came the total gem that sparked the inspiration for this blog post, that sums up, in crazy-poetic fashion, precisely how I feel about this WHOLE thing:
ME: "Let not gratitude be the false, superficial treacle that tops the dried out gruel of the puritanical fervor of recent ancestors. Let gratitude instead be the rich, sensuous, Spirit-filled rose that blooms on its own in the lake of the heart, by virtue of knowing your deepest prayers and wishes have been answered by Spirit."
I swear on all that is holy I was not attempting to be "poetically quotable." It just came out that way.
So there it is, my friends: my feelings on this whole gratitude and being grateful thing. I will eventually get a journal started for this purpose because I do want to test out the connection between gratitude and the Law of Attraction.
Oh, and there's another reason I will likely do the gratitude journal thing: I have another notion in mind concerning this concept and I want to put it to the test also, and I will report on that notion and the whole shebang at some future point. I might even make a blog series around the concept of gratitude, gratitude journaling and its connection to the Law of Attraction.
Blessings,
Kat ^.^
P.S. *Philip Carr-Gomm is probably one of the most well-known Druids writing and speaking on Druidic stuff, especially concerning our planet, obviously enough. ;-) The DruidCraft Tarot he created with his wife Stephanie is just phenomenal as is the Druid Animal Oracle they created. :-) He is also the creator of the correspondence course from the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids.
And it is an important subject that hits a few sore spots for me.
When I started learning about the Law of Attraction and so on via "The Secret" DVD and book (which is a simpler, more general-audience-friendly philosophical way of talking about magick, when you get right down to it), they really hit the whole concept of gratitude really hard because of how positive feelings of gratitude usually are supposed to be. And being grateful for what you already have brings more abundance to you because of the positive vibes it generates.
Okay, I get that. Not a problem.
But the concept of the gratitude journal really stuck in my philosophical craw.
I really have had to work at doing something like this because of past experiences with the words "grateful" and "gratitude."
It took a near-four hour session with my text editor in talking to my Higher Goddess-Self to hammer out what made me so hypersensitive about gratitude and how it gets expressed.
Okay, I have feelings of Love-Gratitude-and-Namaste towards Jon Anderson because of how his music has helped me through so much family drama and inner turmoil. (If you don't know who he is, Google him! He's AMAZING!)
But those are the kinds of unspeakable feelings that bubble up from the depths of my very being, my very cells.
I also have experienced many feelings of that same level of gratitude to the many creators of Japanese anime for writing in so many encouraging, "go-get-'em" concepts into their stories. You would not believe how those anime series have helped me face what I need to face within myself. Hey, Spirit works in whatever ways are necessary to get someone to wake the heck up. At least that has been my experience--and I am grateful for that, indeed. But again, that's a feeling that often leaves me utterly speechless, and it makes me really want to be a better person: more loving, more courageous, confident, etc.
The problems I have had in the past with the words "gratitude" and "grateful" were related to shaming tactics, or at least a shaming tone of voice, from someone who was making the assumption that I, or someone else, was not "properly grateful" for something. I do not appreciate that kind of guilt tripping and I refuse to buy into that way of being.
And usually, that kind of guilt tripping was often from, sadly enough, women old enough to be my grandmother, if not my actual grandmother herself. And anyone who is a generation or two after that who has learned to talk in a shaming manner with respect to gratitude has simply not understood that you cannot force people to feel gratitude just because you think they should feel it.
I also admit that I have had reticent feelings about the mere notion of a gratitude journal not just because of the shaming bit, but because it kind of reminds me of my days in youth lock-ins where the religious talk got all hot-n-heavy about prayer journals, everyone had Bible covers, and info was being passed around about going to this or that youth retreat. All that made me uncomfortable because my dad was never one to push that kind of stuff that one tends to associate with the super-evangelical, super-sentimental, praise-band, "take Jesus as savior" vibe that often sets progressive spiritual people's teeth on edge.
I think I expressed my feelings better when I was just typing like crazy nearly 12 hours ago, so I am going to copy and paste the biggest feelings I was trying to express from the text file I created--and yes, I am going to include what my Higher Goddess-Self was saying, because Her comments and observations flowing with my human feelings will lend context to the entire post:
HS: "A gratitude journal will help you also get clear about other experiences you want to attract. I know you have had fits and starts with it. Mostly because your ego keeps telling you it's silly--that it smacks too much of conservative Christianity, ironically. That whole "count your blessings" thing."
ME: Well, not so much "conservative" Christianity as overly sentimental and maudlin. Yeah, conservative vibes tended to come with it. But my main issue is that whole vibe of going into older folks' homes and seeing those plastic canvas or linen calendar jobs with that treacly "precious moments" vibe oozing from every fiber. It was often enough to give me psychic diabetes, if you get my drift. If I am going to have a gratitude journal, can I pick a word that doesn't carry that guilting vibe of "be grateful?"
HS: "Yes, that shaming vibe does nobody any good, does it? It only serves to make them feel even more UN-grateful. How about 'appreciation?'"
ME: Not quite so bad, even though my grandmother had that whole "hope you appreciate this" thing going on. That also was not helpful. For me, the feeling goes deeper than just a surface gratitude. It's gotta be from down deep, in the "lake of the heart" as Philip Carr-Gomm* calls it.
HS: "Well, didn't you call your feelings for Jon an all-in-one "Love-Gratitude-Namaste" sensation that you couldn't expand on because it was this overwhelming feeling that could only be expressed in lyrics or something? Is that the kind of gratitude you are thinking of?"
ME: Yeah, kinda like that. A gratitude from deep within that nobody told me I had to have because of social or religious niceties. It blossomed on its own, like a big golden rose or lotus or something like that. More like a rose. A red rose with gold and silver streaks and edges, shimmering gold and silver and just too darn beautiful to speak of in words. I feel it all over, but especially in my solar plexus and heart chakras. I have come to the conclusion that gratitude from that deep a rooted place is TRUE gratitude, and not the surface claptrap espoused by people who really don't walk their talk that much.
In addition, I was doing a self-reading with Doreen Virtue's "Healing With the Angels" app on my phone, and the last card to come up had the word "Gratitude" in its more detailed meaning/description. The sentence that had this word in it really made me pause and ask myself how I felt about it. It kinda triggered those old feelings, so...I continued the conversation with my Higher Self:
ME: "Gratitude." Of all words! :-D "Now is the time to fill your heart with a warm feeling of gratitude." I am not sure how I feel about this sentence. I kinda prefer to let the gratitude fill up on its own, or else it will feel forced. To let the blossom of gratitude unfold, open up on its own just by virtue of knowing that the angels helped me. That unspeakable feeling that has its roots in the lake of the heart. Oh, my! Now that would be a marvelous image to paint! An open heart with a lake in it, with a flowering plant with its roots in the water. Even better...the heart is sitting in a great big golden chalice.
HS: "Wouldn't that make a splendid image for a gratitude journal?"
Then came the total gem that sparked the inspiration for this blog post, that sums up, in crazy-poetic fashion, precisely how I feel about this WHOLE thing:
ME: "Let not gratitude be the false, superficial treacle that tops the dried out gruel of the puritanical fervor of recent ancestors. Let gratitude instead be the rich, sensuous, Spirit-filled rose that blooms on its own in the lake of the heart, by virtue of knowing your deepest prayers and wishes have been answered by Spirit."
I swear on all that is holy I was not attempting to be "poetically quotable." It just came out that way.
So there it is, my friends: my feelings on this whole gratitude and being grateful thing. I will eventually get a journal started for this purpose because I do want to test out the connection between gratitude and the Law of Attraction.
Oh, and there's another reason I will likely do the gratitude journal thing: I have another notion in mind concerning this concept and I want to put it to the test also, and I will report on that notion and the whole shebang at some future point. I might even make a blog series around the concept of gratitude, gratitude journaling and its connection to the Law of Attraction.
Blessings,
Kat ^.^
P.S. *Philip Carr-Gomm is probably one of the most well-known Druids writing and speaking on Druidic stuff, especially concerning our planet, obviously enough. ;-) The DruidCraft Tarot he created with his wife Stephanie is just phenomenal as is the Druid Animal Oracle they created. :-) He is also the creator of the correspondence course from the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids.
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