Equinoxes and Solar Eclipse and Solar Transits, Oh My!

I was going to be all organized and stuff, starting regular posting as of this past Friday, especially considering the 20th was a HUGE energy day. I was even all excited about it...

I didn't realize, however, that the energy of the Solar Eclipse in Pisces would bring up a bunch of subconscious crap, triggering both me and a long-time friend. To say I dislike conflict, especially between me and anyone I care about, is a supreme understatement. Especially when said loved one is not exactly the most tactful person around, and I am very emotionally sensitive.

Thankfully, things were resolved between us, for the most part, but that left me feeling like I didn't want to post a damn thing. I am not at my literary best when I'm down and out, so...

I am posting now merely about the effects the solar eclipse had on me. I'm still wrestling with the stuff that got brought up...like "what will peeps think of me if I do (insert activity of choice here)?" Worrying about what people think of me is not new to me this lifetime, according to an intuitive friend of mine. She says it dates back to previous lives where I apparently got killed for speaking up, or being who I am. Which explains why I have issues with my throat chakra this lifetime, and I really, really want to get that cleared up. :P

I mean, this "worrying about what people think" crap has got me going this way and that even about the smallest stuff my soul is telling me to do. It didn't help my mom added to the mix with her own similar issues when I was growing up. I love my mom, but dang!

Now, there are some things I do that people just roll their eyes at and I don't give a flying monkey's butt. But I notice it's the things that are dear to me...things I consider treasures and joys of my soul. That's the stuff for which I've gotten the most crap.

And like a certain favorite masked musician of mine, I want to cry out, asking "WHY???"

And the answer of "Because people are @$$holes" is just not good enough. I want to get down to why people choose to be ignorant. I want to get down to why people choose to be small-minded, petty and bereft of any intellectual prowess. I want to get down to why people choose to butt their noses into people's business, disregarding healthy boundaries, and thinking they have the right to dictate other people's lives for them, either through words and/or facial expressions. And then I want to understand why those people choose to behave like whiny babies and try and push the guilt-buttons when others push back and say, "No, don't do that to me, it's inappropriate." And I am most certainly not content to say "that's just the way things are," because I'm too much of an Indigo for that. Too much of a Starseed who knows that things can and should be better for ALL humanity.

I wonder if it's time to go back to learning psychology. Maybe. I don't know if modern psych classes, either offered free via the virtual courses now offered by certain websites, or in continuing education classes at the local college would help me find answers.

I wonder if I could even go back to school for such a thing in a regular fashion. I've already got student debt I've got on forbearance...I really don't want to pile on more debt.

Sometimes I truly think I'd get better answers from the angels. I'm serious about that. The angels don't need psych degrees to tell me the honest-to-God truth about other humans.

And now the song "You Have To Be Carefully Taught" from "South Pacific" is floating into my head.

You have to be carefully taught
to hate all the people your relatives hate.

That's the only verse I can remember from the song, but it's part of an apt answer from the higher realms, with thought-forms like:

"The reason why people choose certain thoughts or actions is because people get taught to think--or not think. And the people before them learned those unhealthy things, and so on back in time. And the cycles of negative thoughts and behaviors gets cycled downwards through the generations because it's considered 'uncool'--to use an Earth term--to challenge the status quo, to challenge people's thinking. That's the reason for many conflicts: thought-forms get challenged and the ones who don't like their thought-forms being challenged are the ones who are often most insecure about what they think, but they're buoyed up by everyone else's believing the same things, and they believe they have to either kill, or at least emotionally punish others for being different, or thinking in different ways. On and on it goes, until someone like you decides to step up and say, No more! That, my dear, is where the fun begins. The fun of watching things shift on your planet, that is. You might not call it fun, of course, but you can think of it like this: imagine your Earth as a body, and it's sick with a bacterial infection called negativity and violence. It would be similar to sinus and lung congestion because it involves communication. Now, imagine antibiotics or perhaps naturopathic healing herbs or something like that coming in and shaking up all that congestion, eucalyptus and tea tree oil knocking the mucus loose, purifying everything and making the planet-body "cough up" all that thick crud and get rid of it once and for all. 

Now, the verbal equivalent to that eucalyptus or tea tree oil might be you Indigos and Crystals standing up, standing your ground and saying, 'No more of this crap. We can't take it anymore, and we won't take it anymore. People are being hurt too much by others' bad choices, lack of sympathy, empathy, compassion, and so on. We are not going to let this go on. We're better than this. We can be better!' 

And yes, my dear, you are one of those people standing up, because you, too have been wounded. You know what it's like. And yes, you are angry that people choose to continue this nonsense. And it is okay, so long as you channel the anger in constructive ways."

Wow...that's more than just a few 'thought-forms,' isn't it? I felt like that might have been a channel or something, maybe. I don't know. Once I get flowing with words like that, words that flow into my mind's eye like that...it's like I can't stop until the message feels "done." If it was a channel, I don't know who was 'talking,' but when the words come forth addressing me and calling me 'my dear' like that, I know it's gotta be from the Higher Realms someplace.

I would like to know who I'm talking to, specifically, when I get thought-forms flowing into my head like that when I ask passionate questions like I just did up above. I mean, Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations With God are one thing, but my own conversations with higher beings? I mean, am I talking directly to Source, or a slightly lower emanation, like Michael, Raphael, or perhaps other Ascended Masters or something? Not that I'm claiming to be special, but every time this happens, it feels like that 'voice' won't stop until it's done telling me what it wants to tell me. :P

Anyway, this post was a bit of a ramble, but I admit it feels a lot more genuine and flowing than the other actual post I was writing on the day of the equinox solar eclipse, because that other draft is so stilted in word flow--and I may just delete it.

Suffice to say my original organization idea--at least for this blog--is a bit off-kilter, but perhaps I needed a few days to recover so my words would flow better. 

Yours in Pax Felinum (Peace of the Cat--meow! What can I say? ;-)),
Kat